Not So Very Temporarily

still around

2008-11-05T12:58:00.001-08:00

Havent blogged here in a while! My son left for Boot Camp this morning. There are not enough anti ANYTHINGS to make that better..I am still on the 100 mg tabs, although with two sons leaving in a week and having to move and the holidays....I may go up a bit, I dont know, I will just cry alot!!!

To up, or not to Up that is the question

2008-02-06T18:31:00.000-08:00

Well the meds got bumped to 100mg. I cannot sleep, but I wasnt sleeping before the bump either. Today my stomach is on FIRE. I dont know if its the med bump, or the diet pills I am taking or both. I HAVE to lose some weight. I was really hoping if I got my stress under control the weight would come off, PLUS if my brain can settle down maybe I will sleep better and THAT will help me lose weight also. Whenever I watch the BIggest Loser and I see someone close to my weight (its under 200) I just dont think I look like that. I have a very small butt and small legs and I dont have huge flabby arms...and yet the scale still taunts me... anyhow, I feel really just BLAH, I feel nothing I feel drugged! I know it takes a couple weeks. I have a follow up appointment on the 22 of Feb and then my doc is out of town for a week or two. I have Troll~ette stopping on the way home to get me some tums or something I cannot even breathe its so bad!!!! Anyhow heres hoping I get some sleep tonight. I am having a hard time concentrating at work. Not that my job is that hard, but I do have to remember shit....

Mom

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

2008-02-04T17:44:00.000-08:00

Well long time no post...I did change the layout though I like it. Anyhow so I had a doctors appointment today. My ears hurt ( yes I am 5) and I wanted the meds upped ( not that there is a pill big enough to deal with the ETK but I digress) Anyhow so now I am up to 100 mg QD so we will see if that helps. I also told him about my trouble sleeping, which HE thinks upping the mg's will help with that too, but I go back in 3 weeks to see if its helping. Anyhow, I really debated upping the meds because I dont want to be all zombied out. Anyhow I hope this helps with my weight loss, and with my stress level in general. I need to sleep. I just took the 100 mg plus 2 benadryls and my yasmin....I should sleep tonight. PLUS for the first time all week the ETK is WORKING and he wont be there to bother me, I dont know why I cant sleep with him home. ANyhow I am seriously considering calling in sick to work tomorrow, I would really like a day off. I run my butt off on the weekends and I just never seem to get a break...I dont know. The ETK actually cleaned out the fridge and freezer AND pantry today. It looks nice. I dont have time for details, I barley get the important stuff done. Oh well here I am so depressed, I hope the meds help soon...

Mom

Goodbye 2007

2007-12-31T21:34:00.000-08:00

Long time since I have posted here. Well I dont know if it was the holidays or what, but I did seem to struggle with my mood alot more than I have been. Plus with the stuff my sister went through, thats like seeing the other side of CRAZY and it was scarey...
I have an appointment at the end of this month I think to see how its going. SOOO I may or may not up my dosage, maybe since it will be post holidays I will be able to feel better again.

Anyhow I did set some resolutions this year which I never do, and I am still on my weight loss quest, the story of my life and bain of my existence...

OK well the "special girl time" headache is now in full force and there is no way I am going to Walgreens on New Years Eve at 10:41 to get MIDOL...I already took my bra off!!

Mom

Summertime and the living is easy...

2007-09-15T16:19:00.000-07:00

I am feeling better. People are saying I am acting better. So thats a good thing. I am still stressed about money, isnt everyone? But physically I feel better. I am losing some weight, the only thing is that I am not sleeping well. I dont know what the deal is. I am just so busy I guess. When football season is over the time should be better. Anyhow, looks like I will stay at 50mg and just live life and keep on keeping on..

Mom

No music in me this morning.....

2007-08-31T07:35:00.000-07:00

Well I went to the doctor yesterday. I told him I was feeling better (which I am generally) so we left the dosage alone. THEN the day progressed into a cluster fuck of hormonal teenagers and a late evening trip to the emergency room. No I did not injure the boy, but I sure thought about it. I got yelled at, doors slammed and generally spent hours in tears. PLUS I was looking so forward to my days off and now I am just wishing I could get out of here EVEN if it was to go to work. The ETK gave me a lecture this morning, cuz you know, IM 10 years old and need to be lectured like a child. But really its Drum troll~ing that is about to be the death of me. Really he is. I cannot handle his emotional drama crap. He is the only one of my 5 children that has told me he hates me. He is the only one that has ever had the balls to slam doors and raise his voice to me, and by raise his voice I mean SCREAM at me (YOU DONT UNDERSTAND ANYTHING MOOOOMMMMMM) oh I understand that you will NOT be driving and NOT be having any FUN for the next 2 weeks, I understand THAT my friend...not a pill big enough for 15 year old boys. I guess I got spoiled because Cadet was so good (generally, not that he doesnt drive me crazy but its on an entirely different level.) OK Im outta here...

Mom

You love her, but she loves him, and he loves somebody else you just cant win

2007-08-26T14:48:00.000-07:00

Aside from the stress in my life, which is normal and accompanies ALL people I think, I am feeling better. Maybe I just really needed time for the pills to kick in. I am having alot of trouble concentrating on anything, which can be good AND bad. We are in a bit of a financial mess, but we are both working hard and I am sure it will work itself out. It always has a way of working out. Anyhow I have found myself singing a bit more. I even sat down and played the piano the other day. Even the troll~ings came running down the stairs to see if it really was ME. I havent picked up a crochet hook yet, but perhaps soon. I started an afghan for Burf MONTHS ago, I would like to finish it before CHRISTMAS....

Anyhow, I am sleepy alot I have noticed. I get to the school about 10 minutes early to pick the troll~ings up, and they wake me up when they get to the car. If I stop for 5 minutes I pass out. Luckily I dont stop often. Well I am going to focus on my weight. I bought this super duper cute skirt (on sale for 9.00) and I am about 2 inches away from getting into it. So that is my immediate goal. I go to the doctor this week. I have been having a funny pain on my right side. Maybe its nothing, but if its still bothering me, he may send me for some tests...ok bye

Mom

Hey there Delilah

2007-08-20T18:36:00.000-07:00

so the drugs...well I have to say that I am not worrying as much, I am in fact, not able to concentrate or dwell on any one thing for very long, which I suppose is the POINT of the drugs, but when you need to focus for work it can be a bit difficult. I really want to quit my job. I really like the money and its easy work. But I work for unscrupulous people and it is disheartening most of the time. I know every work place has tons of drama but DAYUM...

ok anyhow, I had a really good diet week last week, and I have just BLOWN it today....tomorrow I start over!!!
ok bye

Joy to the world, All the boys and girls, joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea, joy to you and me....

2007-08-13T17:11:00.000-07:00

I dont think the drugs are working very well. I am still feeling very very tearful and BLAH. So when I go in on the 30th I will ask him to up the dosage. Its only at 50 mg right now. So maybe it will help to increase it some, maybe to 75mg. I'm starting to feel ambivalent about my job and stuff so I have to have MORE help. Not that there is a pill big enough to make me LOVE my job, Im just saying....

OK BYE

Mom

Wait, Wait, I never had a chance to love you

2007-08-04T12:40:00.000-07:00

I went to the doctor last week. He said if I wanted to I could up the milligrams on the meds. I told him I would like to give this dosage a couple more weeks. I have to go see him Aug 30 (for the fun and exciting GIRL exam. Oh I love being a girl) so I told him I would know by then if I thought I needed the dosage upped. I think I do. I do NOT feel better, well not as better as I think I should feel. I would still rather just lock myself in the house with the blinds shut and not answer the phone and not talk to anyone EVER...so that cant be good. Even Big Mama and Sister T were talking about the fact that I havent contacted anyone in the family and no one has seen or talked to me for a while. Of course I havent moved, OR changed my phone number, and you know what? Those damn phones work BOTH WAYS..I know, who knew???
So the new girl at work, well I was in a mood yesterday, I didnt want to be there and I had a headache etc, anyhow she thought I was mad at her, which I wasnt MAD, Im just frustrated with everything but anyhow, she was very sweet and gave me some nice Christian advice and reminded me to be thankful for everything I have. Which I am NOT being right now because I am feeling SORRY for myself. This has been going on a long time I know, but I will get over it sometime. Not today. Any who ..
So thats that on the drug front....its been almost 4 weeks. So far the only good thing about being on them is that I have lost 5 pounds because they make me a big nauseated, and I dont cry EVERY day, just every OTHER day..

Mom

beneath the sea is where a fish should be...

2007-07-25T19:42:00.000-07:00

My drug journey continues...Im very tearful today, especially after the phone call I just got. Nothing BAD really just someone I had been avoiding talking to. One of the Troll~ings answered the phone and gave it to me and I didnt know who it was. Anyhow, the conversation has left me feeling really shitty on a number of levels and unsettled and tearful. PLUS the ETK is going on ANOTHER fishing trip. In case your counting thats like 5 this year already, which may not seem like a lot but I havent left town since LAST AUGUST...Im feeling a little oppressed, depressed and just plain stressed! Im not feeling as better as I thought I would be. I have an appointment on Tuesday. I dont want to increase the dosage, but I may have to. Either that or I am just doomed to live in this funk for the rest of my life. I just dont feel better. Tonight I am feeling pretty crappy actually, like things will never get better or be any different. Not that things are particularly BAD, just, I dont know, things are just annoying. The ETK pulls the same shit he pulled during year one of our marriage, the trollings are just acting like trollings...same old same old...I dont even know whats wrong with me. ANYHOW...how was that for a rant that wasnt really a rant because I didnt even say anything. DUH ok bye
Mom

Shot her down because she made me sore, I thought I was her daddy but she had 5 more

2007-07-17T21:21:00.000-07:00

Today was the day I switched up to the 50mg tablets. We will see now if I am more than 50mg of NUTTY....I have a doctors appointment on the 30th so he can see how its going and what not. I havent cried everyday this week, but I still feel really apathetic. I need to get to the gym but I just cannot make myself go. When Cadet was going with me it was easier. Maybe he will start going in the morning when school starts and I can go back. I have felt less dizzy and nauseated. But I still feel blah blah blah. SOOO not that I should be all up all the time. But still....ok the saga continues

Mom

I have become comfortably numb....

2007-07-16T18:25:00.000-07:00

OK so drug wise I feel better today. I feel less nauseated and hungry. This morning I was feeling very anxious and my pulse rate was higher than usual, it took real effort to calm myself down. Also I didnt sleep well at ALL last night. Today is my last day on the 25mgs and I start the 50mg tomorrow. I am hoping for some sleep and I am hoping to calm down. I havent cried since the first day I was on them, so I am hopeful that I am only going to be 50mg of crazy, I think I need the 50 because of the anxiety, but anyhow, I havent been dizzy or anything like that. I can still get to work and do my job. I did get real mad at one of the troll~ings this morning, that could account for the anxiety on the way to work as I was mad before 6am.

Mom

Of course I'm french, why do you think I have this outragous accent????

2007-07-14T21:43:00.000-07:00

Maybe I should use this blog to talk about my journey on drugs. Anti-depressant drugs that is. You know its funny but the people I deal with at work would be SHOCKED to learn that I am clinically depressed, which I guess sums up the clinical part. I can pretend like everything is fine there, but then I come home and can just barely function. Pretty stupid really I feel pretty badly about it. The pills make me sick to my stomach. I have another appointment with the doctor on the 30th of this month to make sure everything is working ok. Then I have to go to the doctor a few weeks after that for that special GIRL visit that we all love so much...anyhow, ok well I have totally drug ass today, I am so tired! I got up at 9am, then layed on a raft in the pool, then layed down at 1pm and slept for 2 hours and its not even 10 and I am going back to bed. It is a side effect of the drugs I am sure. I have to get back to the gym. OK BYE

Gone going gone everything gone, give a damn

2007-06-23T20:55:00.000-07:00

Ahhh for anyone who cares to read this blog, which I dont think any of my other readers do anyhow so Crash~ette spent about 6 days in the hospital but is feeling better and started a new job so maybe they will get their shit together and be happy and doing fine.
Not too much going on with me, I got sunburned today and I am fat and depressed and determined to do something about it. I apparently am still just eating too much. I have the excersise part down, its just the food part. Anyhow, so that is that and I am done..

Mom

So much to say, so much to say

2007-06-08T01:18:00.001-07:00

Crash~ette pictured under here.....still in hospital, havent heard for a while. Gonna try to sleep.

Mom

HAPPY DAY ALL YOU MUTHA'S,,,errr I mean MOTHERS.....

2007-05-13T07:54:00.000-07:00

TO BIG MAMA (my mom duh)

THE GREATEST JOYS IN MY LIFE

HAVE COME FROM BEING A MOTHER

THANK YOU FOR SHOWING ME

HOW TO BE A GREAT MOM!!

I LOVE YOU

To all Moms who do the toughest, most wonderful, hardest, most fullfilling and heartbreaking job in the world, I stand with you, I salute you, I honor you and I wish you a happy day!

Momthatsnuts~~~~

Photos Schmotos

2007-05-05T17:29:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am aware of the fact that Crash is a super HUNK....lol
Wild Bill
Crash~ette

Mom

Here comes another one just like the other one

2007-04-25T16:59:00.000-07:00

OK OK OK BURF STOP YELLING AT ME...sorry all...

FINALLY the BLOGGER GODS have complied with my incessant whining and FIXED MY OLD BLOG PRAISE JESUS.....I will keep this one up, and use it occasionally, but mostly I am back on the old one....THANKS FOR HANGING IN THERE WITH ME.....

Mom

In Memory of Tony and Eleanor.....

2007-04-12T04:51:00.000-07:00

OK a couple of things..First of all I want to make the pink bunny picture my icon thingy. Libby, your always changing yours, HOW DO YOUDO IT??? I tried on my own but cant make it work.

As you know I attended a funeral last saturday of a man who's family have been my friends for several years. Tuesday night I recieved word that a lady that I have been pen pals with for about 7 years died. I was really upset by this news, I cried all night and half of yesterday. I think the piggy-back deaths of people I knew and liked really took a toll on me. Anyhow, its a long story how I met her, but we were good old fashion pen pals, not EMAIL, real letters and pictures etc. She sent me a silver coin that was blessed by Pope John Paul the 2nd. I am not a Catholic, but I know it meant alot to her, and I cherished it. I crocheted a couple things for her, and anyhow after that long we knew each other pretty well, and it was so fun to watch the mail and know that something was coming from someone that didnt want money!! LOL
I wanted to do something other than send flowers to her funeral, so Troll~ette suggested (sometimes she is so smart) that I get a really nice pen, and have it engraved. My friend always signed her letters "Love and Friendship" so I had that engraved on the pen, and I plan to send it to her daughter, as soon as I can muster up a letter to go with it. Anyhow, so I have been in a pretty sad state of mind the last week, and havent blogged or anything. Each of the kids called me yesterday to tell me how sorry they were that she was gone, even the ETK was pretty sensitive about it. ANYHOW so thats 2........one more right??

I know I work in a death industry, but I also appriciate that although the patients are just names and MR numbers to me, (I work in the office) they are someones family, friend, sister, mother, father, brother. As I am pretty famous for saying, "sometimes, life just sucks"....

Wow if you all came here to be entertained and uplifted...you will have to come back later!!
OK off to the gym, I hear Cadet stirring around up there....

Later

Mom

Your not going to believe this, on Friday, on the way home from Cadets award ceremony (where he got 2 awards and made his mom VERY proud) my sister called and our grandma died. SOOOO thats 3 for me, I hope Im done~~

New Icon

2007-04-09T19:46:00.000-07:00

anyone wanna help me remember how to set this as my little icon thingy??

Mom
ITS TIME FOR 24 so NOT NOW

Goes to visit his mommy, She feeds him well, his concerns he forgets them, and remembers being small, playing under the table and dreaming

2007-04-07T20:17:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to pop in and wish everyone a Happy Weekend, however you choose to spend it. I am trying to be VERY EXTRA politically correct since I DID ask the Jewish lady at work how she would be spending Easter...thankfully, they do NOT pay me based on my ignorance, I would have to pay THEM....she laughed and said Easter was not really her holiday....

ANYHOW, that will teach me to learn all about something before I go running my mouth...

So I went to give Wild Bill his EASTER BASKET because they are going to HER house tomorrow and cant come to Daddos with us. I did have a tiny, fleeting, sad moment in the store, when I was buying the traditional Chocolate Bunnies, and realized I needed one LESS this year...

ANYHOW ok well everyone have a great weekend...

Mom

It's the remix to ignition, hot and fresh out the kitchen

2007-04-06T20:12:00.000-07:00

A man came on our hospice service right before Christmas. A few years ago, when I was working for another hospice, I took care of his wife for about a year. I went to see him about a week or so ago. He said, "this will probably be the last time you see me." So I kissed him on the cheek and said goodbye. He was right. He died a few days ago, his funeral is tomorrow, so that is what I will be spending a few hours doing tomorrow. It will be the most time I have spent in a church for 2 years!!

We are going to Daddo and Big Mama's house on Sunday for family fun. I really dont want to go, but Crash and Wild Bill are going, and also I havent seen my parents in weeks. I have been really sick to my stomach for the last few days. I dont know what is wrong. Its like just nervous stomach or something. The ETK has been behaving for the most part. I dont feel like I am getting enough rest. Also Troll~ette is day 15 with no cigarettes. How long until you stop counting? She was really grouchy today, bu this is the first day she was even slightly cranky.

OK well I guess I should go. I guess this is going to be my little "home" on the internet, I give up.

Boy Im kinda cranky myself, maybe I should START smoking...hehehehehe JUST KIDDING sheeesh ....Im just FAT not STUPID...

Mom

Ode to a sick child

2007-04-02T10:35:00.000-07:00

Oh MOM
He shouted gruffely
His voice was sort of muffley
I am sick and schools today
I think that I should keep away
My throat is sore, my ears they hurt
I think I threw up on my shirt
So do your duty, do not shirk
You better call off sick from work
And please stay home
And pamper me
I am as sick
As I can be!
So here I sit, my blog to write
I called in sick, I did it right
I told them that my boy was sick
I rubbed it in, awefully thick
I put on shorts, a t-shirt too
And now I have nothing to do,
But lay around, and tan and eat
I think I'll call in once a week!!

Mom

2007-04-01T07:56:00.000-07:00

AKKK still nothing will POST on the old blog. VERY VERY annoying, someday I am going to stop bitching about it, apparently not TODAY...
Wild Bill decided that he needed to get in the pool. So Crash though OH lets put his feet in, then he was soaked by the time it was all over!!! That water is still FREEZING...anyhow.

So not much going on, just spring cleaning you know how that goes. I gotta get going on that as a matter of fact. Hope you all have a great day.

Mom

There once was a man from Nantuckette.........

2007-03-30T14:27:00.000-07:00

Yeah I have almost given up on the NEW blogger EVER getting my OLD blog on board! What I may do, is go through the old blog and print everything so I dont lose anything in their attempts to "fix" it.
Sooo not much going on, getting my hair done Wed....
The ETK is off tomorrow and Sunday.
Im supposed to go out with Baby Brother and Sister T tonight. I totally blew off Sister T's birthday this week, I dont know how many drinks I am going to have to buy to make up for it.
Im bloated.
Im bored.
Im supposed to be working.
K bye

Mom

A blog, by any other name.....

2007-03-28T11:18:00.000-07:00

So the Blogger "team" finally contacted me and told me that there was an "error" in moving my blog and that I could still access it from the old way, so I did that but it wont let me POST anything new....CRIMENY now I have to begin my emailing campaign anew. OK yeah I am at work and I better make like a tree and get outta here,....

LATER

Mom

Some Days, Dave just says it best.............

2007-03-26T17:53:00.001-07:00

Cyrus Jones 1810 to 1913
Made his great granchildren believe
You could live to a hundred and three
A hundred and three is forever when you're just a little kid
So Cyrus Jones lived forever
Gravedigger
When you dig my grave
Could you make it shallow
So that I can feel the rain
Gravedigger
Muriel Stonewall1903 to 1954
She lost both of her babies in the second great war
Now you should never have to watch
Your only children lowered in the ground
I mean you should never have to bury your own babies
Gravedigger
When you dig my grave
Could you make it shallow
So that I can feel the rain Gravedigger
Ring around the rosey
Pocket full of posey
Ashes to ashes
We all fall down
Gravedigger
When you dig my grave
Could you make it shallow
So that I can feel the rain
Gravedigger
Little Mikey Carson 67 to 75
He rode hisBike like the devil until the day he died
When he grows up he wants to be Mr. Vertigo on the flying trapeze
Ohhh, 1940 to 1992
Gravedigger
When you dig my grave
Could you make it shallow
So that I can feel the rain
Gravedigger
When you dig my grave
Could you make it shallow
So that I can feel the rain
Feel the rain I can feel the rain
Gravedigger

I love Sunday, I love Sunday, I love Sunday....if I say it enough.....

2007-03-25T08:48:00.000-07:00

Sooo its picture day...... Crash's new tattoo, that boy loves his mom!! big mama's afghan, yes she wanted it all ONE color even the flowers. Crash and William and the ETK working on Cadets car. See how much damage? New radiator 175.00 so far...grrrrr You can tell that it was a tow hitch, just shoved everything in and up. William working hard to help fix it. Anyhow, so thats about that. Work tomorrow, which is whatever. Troll~ette has decided to quit smoking so she started the patch about 2 days ago. She left the house the other night for the express purpose of having a cigarette. (they are not allowed to smoke anywhere near the house, and not even in FRONT of my house, I am weird about it) Anyhow, she decided at that point that SHE was so NOT in control anymore and that the cigarettes were in control, so she quit the next morning. Good for her, she will feel better, if we ALL live through the quitting part!!! Anyhow the ETK is off today. WHY does he take Sundays, my ONE day to chill and relax off??? Then I have to deal with his cranky ass...grrrrrrr

OK that is all.

Mom

Do you really want to hurt me? Do you really want to make me cry??

2007-03-24T16:38:00.000-07:00

I really hate being over HERE on this blog.
Today, Cadet was out to lunch with some friends, and when they came out, SOMEONE had backed into his car!!! Someone with a trailer hitch, really mucked up his car, put a hole in the radiator and who knows what else, Crash is coming to look at it tomorrow. I am really mad, they didnt leave a note (of course) or anything. Its going to cost us a couple hundred dollars to fix, and they just drove off. I had to listen to Cadet, Troll~ette, Drum and the ETK tell me how I am the LAST honest person on the planet and how "normal" people dont fess up to stuff that no one sees. I am honest to a fault 99.9 percent of the time. (I didnt realize they had given me too much change until I got home and then I was tired and it was late, and it was only a couple of dollars, but I still feel pretty guilty about it). Anyhow, I hate to call out the Cosmos to make all things good and even in the world, but DAMMIT this really affects my life, if Cadet doesnt have a car, that means I have to share mine, which means I have to leave work early, blah blah blah,,,uggggg

So anyhow, now everyone except me and QTroll~ing are gone. Hopefully this is the most excitement we will have this week. I was looking forward to a stress free, quiet weekend. Ahhh well I am going to go watch Alien Nation and cut strips for my quilt top that I am calling "Mostly Blue" I just took a bunch of reminants and I am going to make a top out of them. THEN I am going to work on Burfs afghan. We will have to discuss patterns and colors Burf, unless you just want me to suprise you!
OK I am gonna put my fat pants on and cook some steaks for QTroll~Ing and call it a day!! Have a great day, and BE NICE TO PEOPLE AND IF YOU SCREW UP FOR HEAVENS SAKE TAKE RESPONSIBILITY....crimeny, this world sometimes SUCKS...

Mom

Jerimiah was a bullfrog, was a good friend of mine....

2007-03-22T06:19:00.000-07:00

I am still contacting Blogger just about every day to get them to switch my other blog over. Its really pissing me off!! But like Big Mama says, its better to be pissed OFF than pissed ON....I finally finished Big Mama's afghan. I hope she likes it she said she did. Anyhow. So Work is work. I had my review. It was a pretty good review. When I was hired there, I had these crazy hours that I was available. I told them that as soon as I could buy Cadet a car that I could stay longer. So I did, and I have. In Arizona, at least for the purposes of Benifits, 30 hours a week is considered full time, and I work about 32 hours a week IF you dont count the time I spent AFTER hours on the phone. And I DONT count those hours into my weekly time, which I should because I spent PLENTY of time on the phone with the nurses and CNA's but I digress. SOOO I just got a new supervisor, and I talked to her about my status, was I a full time employee, if so, I want to be benifitted, am I a part time employee? If so I am only going to work 20 hours a week. I also expressed concern about the summer time, and how I did NOT want to stay until 5pm every day during the summer. I still have young enough kids that they really dont need to be left to thier own devises during the summer. SOOOO between her and I, we worked out a plan that I will work 9-3 and that I am full time and benifitted and all is well. SOOO that should work out OK until the owner of the company hears about it. BUT what is she going to do fire me? PRAISE JESUS I really dont care. SOooo anyhow, I am glad thats settled because I was worried about it.
Drum (age 15 for those that forget) is currently NOT speaking to me. Why you may ask???? Because I wont buy him a motorcycle. Thats it. The boy doesnt even have his permit yet, but I am a jerk because I wont allow him to have a motorcycle as his sole source of transportation. He even wants to drive QTroll~ing to school ON IT....I was born at night, but it was not LAST NIGHT for heavens sake. ANYHOW ok I just looked at the time. I better get going. I havent been to the gym all week, dont you LOVE being a GIRL.....

Mom

The soul sucking vortex of doom that is the ETK

2007-03-19T18:30:00.000-07:00

OH how I hate to deal with him. OH how he never ever ever listens to one damn thing I say. He hung up on me. Yes, he is 12. ASSHOLE. He gave Crash 300 dollars, after I TOLD CRASH 3 TIMES NO I WOULD NOT GIVE HIM MONEY...then the ETK had the BALLS to yell at me for being a hardass. When was the last time the ETK picked Crash up from work? Drove him to the store? Let him borrow his truck? Bought him groceries? OH YEAH.....NEVER so he gets to be daddy warbucks and throw money at the boy and he is the hero. THEN has the balls to tell ME that I am not being a good mom. You know, if the boy had SPENT HIS MONEY on RENT instead of a NEW TATTOO then I MIGHT have been more inclined to help him. This is NOT helping him, this is REWARDING HIM for being STUPID with his money. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I am really mad. But thats the ETK's way of doing things.......Sorry I didnt make it to your baseball game, here have a new video game. Oh you had a concert?? Sorry I missed it, heres a new cell phone.....and let us make one thing PERFECTLY clear....the ETK misses most of those things because he CHOOSES to work. CHOOSES to miss them. Remember when I begged him for a YEAR to go to Memphis with us? Remember how he CHOSE not to go with me?? Hmmmm Im really REALLY mad right now....good thing there is Kiefer later or the day would be a total loss.....

OK grrrrrrr

Mom

You cannot quit me so quickly, is no hope in you, for me?

2007-03-17T08:34:00.000-07:00

I hope everyone is finding the way here to see me! I am not entirely convinced however and I am feeling lost and alone~~

Not much going on. I played hooky from work yesterday and it was awesome! I may never go back!! Just kidding, as much as I piss and moan about my job, its pretty much a piece of cake. SO but it was nice to have a day off.

Nothing much going on. I have to finish Big Mama's afghan, I am hoping to accomplish that in a large part today and tomorrow. Cadet and Drum are going out to parties (not together, cuz they hang with ENTIRELY different crowds, Cadets being much better dressed for one thing, he went to Abercrombie to get a new outfit for this party, hey he is spending his OWN money, hell I shop at Walmart what do I know?) So it looks like it will just be QTroll~ing and I tonight and he will probably be out with friends so I guess my days of being the entertainment are over! I remember when they were EXCITED to go do something with mom!! Oh well..I may force them to take a drive with me up to Globe to eat at the La Casita for lunch. It is only about a 50 mile drive from my house so its not too bad. Yes a long drive for lunch, but then I get to drive past my old house so thats fun! Plus the food is totally worth it!!

Anyhow, well everyone is still in bed, lazy little beggars! OK then I am gonna go for a walk or something before it gets too late in the day to do it. It was over 90 degrees here yesterday. I love this time of year, thats WHY I live in Arizona, and you can smell the orange blossoms my FAVORITE smell in the entire world...Im gonna have to die in March/April/May so I can have orange blossoms at my funeral...anyhow.

Have a GREAT day see everyone soon..HEY PAUL..you could email me PRIVATLY if you want to, I gotta know how MY AIRFORCE is sleeping.....

Mom

Sippin' on coke and rum, I'm like, so what I'm drunk, it's the freakin' weekend baby I'm about to have me some fun

2007-03-10T19:56:00.000-08:00

Went to the Big Bang with Sister T (who is leaving for Hawaii in a couple hours BITCH) and Baby Brother ( who's divorce from the evil whore is final on the 26th) last night. Troll~ette came and joined us when she got done working. It was a great time. Baby brother said "hey Mom that guy over there is looking at your boobs, and he isnt even being very discreet, he is just having himself a look" to which I replied (after several jack and cokes) HELL YEAH THESE ARE 42 YEAR OLD TITTIES LET HIM LOOK" and gave the obligatory shimmy of the girls, to which Troll~ette piped up with "hey Mom, your titties are 43!!!" How rude was that? This whole time I thought I was 42. I kept telling everyone that I was going to have my 43rd birthday at the Big Bang in November!! Now I am depressed. The signs of aging are catching up to me, The wrinkles, the gray hair the FORGETFULLNESS....SHITHELLDAMN....

Hope everyone else has a good weekend, I am going to go eat a Sonic Butterfinger Blast and pine away for my lost youth.

Mom

PS I would have slapped the shit out of Troll~ette for saying such a horrible TERRIBLE thing to me, had it not been true, and had my brother not been laughing so hard I almost had to bust out some CPR skills.......

The return of the evil-squishy pig faced neighbor

2007-03-06T17:11:00.000-08:00

Ahhh I have so enjoyed the year of total neighbor-free BLISS that I have enjoyed. She stopped QTroll~ing the other day to complain about cigarette butts in her yard, because you know, Troll~ette and Crash are the only 2 people in ARIZONA that smoke dont ya know...anyhow, so yeah, Qtroll~ing told her that maybe if she shut that stupid yapping dog up at a decent hour that we would talk to the SMOKERS...Keep in mind, Crash doesnt even live here anymore, and Troll~ette doesnt smoke anywhere near here, so whatever, I HATE HER HATE HATE HATE

So I had an hour long meeting with my new boss today. It was to talk about various issues. She comes from a place where all of the charting was done electronically, so she thinks I work WAY too hard. Then she asked me lots of personal questions, like what I did with my time at home blah blah and then later said, I dont know how you fit everything in. I told her that it was really just fitting WORK in, because my boys come first every time. I have been there 90 days so its time for my review. We will see if they give me a raise. I hope they do, but I dont they will.
Not much else today, I am super tired, I didnt sleep much last night. I had to pay my DAMN speeding ticket 169.50 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. Drum gets out early so I will have to leave early tomorrow which they will NOT be happy about, but they will be LESS happy about me calling off next Friday to take the troll~ings to San Diego ( if I can find a reasonably priced hotel dammit) but I am going to call in sick so they wont see it coming and get all stressed. I havent had a day off since I started there so it will be fine. The ETK is REALLY pushing me to go THIS weekend. He has THIS weekend off. Hmmmmm anyone ELSE wonder what he is up to? I totally WISH he would find someone else and run off, really I do, it would suck, but at least it would be over and the troll~ings couldnt blame me. As it is I have stuck with him through ALOT OF SHIT.

Anyhow I must clean and crochet and watch IDOL so I will see you all later..

Mom

Blogger sucks worse than the suckiest suck that ever sucked

2007-03-04T16:09:00.000-08:00

The Superstition Mountians east of Phoenix. I can see these from my house.....
That mountian says PHOENIX on it.....guess I shoulda ZOOMED...

Qtroll~ing and a rock, that is NOT me up there with the big ole badunkadunk, I was the one taking the picture you sillies....

IN COLOR AGAIN YAY......

I have had nothing but trouble with this stupid thing. Im afraid to put my slide show and whatnot on here, heaven knows what will happen!

Anyhow thanks for finding me everyone (and the NEW ones!!) Usually I try to be a bit witty, funny and sometimes even NICE but I have been so mad at blogger about my OLD blog that I have been pissy. Also my life the last 2 weeks has sucked royal ass so I havent been very nice. HOWEVER I am determined to have a much BETTER week this week so there.

I took Qtroll~ing for a hike this morning (pictures) and we decided to try geocaching in the future, or at least try to take a hike a week. It was fun, the weather was perfect and it was great excersise. And you know, excersise gives you endorphines, and endorphines make you happy, and happy people dont kill their husbands, they just DONT.

SO at the weekly meeting with our doctor this week, its the team that the evil mean nurse comes to so that should be fun. We will see if she tells the doctor that its MY fault that the patients are dying ( yes I know I work for hospice, so does SHE) a little HOSPICE HUMOR isnt that sick and wrong? Yes I am fully aware that it is, and yet......

OK THEN PEOPLE See ya soon

Mom

I cant make my text a color because the new blogger sucks

2007-03-03T16:31:00.000-08:00

Alekx and Burf, you two have been with me since the beginning of the OLD blog and I love and adore you both. Thank you for checking on me! Would either of you (or both of you) please post my new addy on YOUR blog so that everyone can find me? I dont want everyone to worry and I just havent gotten around to everyone yet to let them know where I am. I guess I am going to have to dress this blog up, since my other one is STILL FUCKED UP.

Thank you I DO feel better. Actually what happened was I contacted the owner of the company and asked if I could be put out in the field (as opposed to working in the office) so she called me right away (on SATURDAY EVEN) and asked what was wrong. I told her that it could be summed up in 2 words "MARY JONES" (not her real name of course) she is one of our RN's. I said, I have never been as disrespected and treated so poorly as this RN has treated me in my whole life. So she listened while I explained what happened and how it made me feel. She promised to talk with the nurse and asked me to PLEASE not leave the company. I told her "If I want people to shit on me and treat me like crap, I will stay home with my husband!" SO anyhow I did feel MUCH better after I talked to her.

Had another big fight with the ETK yesterday. He KNOWS he is being a jerk when he is bieng one, he just really doesnt care. He just knows I am going to take it and take it and take it so he continues to give it. ANYHOW

So I went to the yarn store today ( that I didnt even know exsisted) and I got a pedicure and got my nails done and took a nap. I needed a down day that is for sure. The 12th is Big Mamas birthday and I have GOT to get her afghan finished. Then I will work on one for Burf who has been begging for one since I met her!!!! I have some fun patterns I cant wait to start. ALSO do you know, while I was at the yarn store i discovered that they teach private KNITTING lessons..so I have a knitting lesson next Saturday. Can you believe that? A KNITTING lesson? I dont know why I cant do it. OK well it has been so windy here, all the garbage cans are blown over and the wind is totally howling, so I should be sneezing and dying soon. Of course there is really nothing blooming, but I do live in a dust bowl. OK OK I am going.....

THANKS FOR COMING BY
YA'LL COME BACK NOW, HEAR????

Mom

Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day...

2007-03-02T16:45:00.000-08:00

Cried on the way TO work (thanks to the ETK) cried on the way HOME from work, (thanks mostly TO work, but also with some help from the ETK) What a supersized dick-burger with chili cheese and french fries that one is! ANYHOW....

Yeah so I think I am going to call off work Monday. Not for any real reason and ONLY if the ETK and Troll~ette are gone. Maybe I will PRETEND to go to work and spend the day out doing something fun. I got a phone call today (while AT work) from another hospice offering me a job. I may look into it after today. Anyone can do my job there. Its a piece of cake. The new director has everything all worked out and they so do NOT need me. They can live without me for a day I bet they can. In fact Im SURE they can. So yeah anyhow. The ETK is another story.
I know that I should get divorced. I have known for years. But I am in this really comfortable (physically) place and if I divorced it would make it hard on the troll~ings. I mean yeah I would miss the house, and the car and the things, but those dont make me happy. I would really feel bad if the troll~ings had to either a) give up thier rooms and stuff because I cannot afford a big enough house or b) give up living with ME because they could stay here with the ETK and I could find my own place. None of those things sound fun, but then days like today with the ETK are not fun either ( hey that rhymed). ANYHOW and I am miffed at work, because I felt like someone there should have had my back and they did NOT have my back and I am more than a little hurt over it. ANYHOW...thats it I guess. Gonna run drum to the batting cages, and Qtroll~ing to a talent show with his friend and then myself to the grocery store. WOW can you handle the excitement??

Mom

Still PISSED OFF AT BLOGGER

2007-02-28T15:17:00.000-08:00

Yeah I am still mad about the stupid thing...grrrr anyhow

Work is going along. I am a tiny bit ( ok alot) stressed out but I think its all going to work out. I may actually get to go in the field and work with some patients so that might be fun for a change. Family is fine, hope the ETK works alot, he has had days and days off and is making me nuts. Really not too much to report. Just same ole same ole...ok off to email blogger AGAIN

I dont know but I been told, Mommas son is good as gold.....

2007-02-24T09:42:00.000-08:00

Ahhh you all know how proud I am of the Troll~ings, but some days I get to be EXTRA proud and in PUBLIC...Cadet got accepted to OCS (officer candidate school) and so in April he will get his promotion at the awards ceremony. Big Mama and Daddo came to the drill competition. It was early and cold and totally worth the drive! ANYHOW.

I have hurt my sciatic muscle and am in pretty constant pain the last couple of days so that sucks AND its is bathroom scrubbing day which we all know I LOVE. Then tomorrow we are going to go up to the Rim and do some lounging. ANYHOW I gotta go and get started. The ETK is off for the next 2 days so PRAY FOR ME. I have written to blogger everyday for 3 weeks do you think they have fixed my other blog yet??? HELL NO...grrrrr

Mom

There's no promise of safety, with these second hand wings, but Im willing to find out, what impossible means...a leap of faith

2007-02-22T18:58:00.000-08:00

......... MY DAY TODAY: SHOVELLING SHIT FOR THE MAN........

First of all I just want to thank Burf and Alexk for TRYING to fix my old blog. I am just going to keep bitching about it until its fixed!!!!

Anyhow, I am so tired. Yesterday was the one year anniversary of my cousins death. That was the day that I decided I was NOT going to nursing school. I did in fact QUIT school and havent been back since. I took a semester off, then 2. I have decided that I am going to take a class next semester, an online class, but I am NOT convinced that I want to be a nurse. Either way the math class wont hurt. SO anyhow, I was stressed out about work. I was sad about the day. I came home with a SPLITTING headache, it was horrible. So Troll~ette said, "come-on mom, we are going to The Vine to get a Pookie Cookie" (side note, a pookie cookie for those who dont know is a wonderful chocolate chip warm huge cookie with ice cream and caramel drizzled on it) so we get to The Vine, they seat us, we SIT for 20 minutes, no waitress, no acknowledgement that we exsist, SOOO I said "Lets get outta here" so Troll~ette (being a waitress herself) gets someone to go get the manager. She explains what just happened, and it turns out we were "accidentally" seated in a section that the waitress had just gone home and the gal was NOT supposed to seat anyone there. SOOO she sat us with a really nice waiter and paid for our pookie cookie AND drinks. NOW lets talk about the drinks. I am not a big drinker, I did, in fact spend MANY MANY years of my life without a single drink EVER. SO I am not big into them, but we had a drink for my cousin, then I had another for me. I had NO IDEA that Tequilla cures headaches! It is going to be my drug of choice from now on!!! BUT it also gave me diareaha..(too much information??) Anyhow, then Crash told me about his ENGAGEMENT and Cadet got promoted (he is a Lt now and has to go to OCS, some sort of officer training) AND he has another drill competition Saturday. SO then we get to TODAY and its a horrible, terrible no good very bad day! Just busy, my blackberry wasnt working, people were making me run around like their slave and its insane. I would really LOVE to have a day off. I may take NEXT friday off.

SOOOO the ETK has Sunday off (why is it always SUNDAY???) Anyhow, so we are going to take Drum, Cadet, Qtroll~ing and Ivancho (drum's friend) up to the Mogillion Rim and try to find some snow and have a picnic. Normally I would not attend such an adventure, but its just a few hours and I am so desperate for a change of scenery, that I am willing to go. OK well I am going to go send blogger ANOTHER email about my blog disapearing from my dashboard and then I am going to do some laundry and call it a day. Hope all is well that you have found my new place and that everything is going good for everyone!!!

Nothing but LOVE for ya~~~

Mom

Pied Piper??

2007-02-20T17:08:00.000-08:00

CADET SO HANDSOME!!!!
William at the park....
Cadet and Daddo looking at Cadets car. Mine is on the far left, Daddos is on the far right (the truck) and Cadets is in the middle....

Come to me my children!!! THANKS for finding me. I am really mad about my other blog, but as soon as its back online I will be THERE...anyhow

Work is going OK. They hired a manager, she starts tomorrow. I dont know how that will work out we will see. I had 2 CNA's quit today. I talked one into staying. The other can go I dont care.

So whats the happs with the MOMSTER??? ok well here we goooooo

Troll~ette, hurt her knee. Gripes alot. Goes to school. Goes to work. Does NOT clean up after herself but DOES pay her brothers to clean up after her....

Crash well they are saying the "M" word. They are looking at maybe getting married in May. I have more pictures but couldnt get them to post. I will try again.

Cadet well that would be MASTER SERGANT CADET to you. He got promoted today. I havent seen much of him since he got his car, although I did spot him at the gym this morning.

Drum has missed 2 days of school (friday and today) he has been sick. I called the school and told them that I would drop his dead corpse off at school tomorrow no matter what.

QTroll~ing well he is really stressing me out. His grades are HORRIBLE so I did the best thing I could think of. I called Sylvan (who has not returned my call, so maybe I will go with Kumon) AND I told him if his next report card had NO D's or F's that I would buy him an XBOX 360. I dont think its going to happen, but I am saving my pennies in case.

The ETK is working ALOT (always a good thing) and I am really running....but you know, its better than sitting on my fat butt....I guess

THANK YOU ALL for "following" me, stalk me ANYTIME....

Oh answers from the other blog before I was so RUDELY interupted over there, I was in school working on my prerequisits to get INTO nursing school then my cousin died (one year ago tomorrow) and I decided I didnt want to BE a nurse anymore. HOWEVER I have decided that I am going to take Math120 just for shits and giggles and besides that, I think it wont hurt to have it if I decided to do this whole nurse thing anyhow. So thats that story.

Anyhow I better go, I have to clean the kitchen, take my walk, do some laundry and watch American Idol and its already 6:18!!!! Gonna try to post a picture before I go....LATER

Mom

I HATE HATE HATE GOOGLE BLOGS

2007-02-19T16:24:00.000-08:00

ok maybe HATE is a strong word. I have emailed. I have begged I have pleaded....grrrrrr

ANYHOW how is life for everyone? I Hope you all find me here I am not opposed to something NEW but I want it to smoooonge with my OLD stuff...crimeny. I have alot to say, but not much time to say it right now, while being PISSED that I had to create a NEW blog . I HOPE they get my old one up...but until then... this will have to suffice. Who was it that said they were going to copy all the pages of their blog and put it in a scrap book or something? I may have to do that so that I dont lose anything cuz heaven only KNOWS what google will do with my OLD BLOG....

Mom