still around

Havent blogged here in a while! My son left for Boot Camp this morning. There are not enough anti ANYTHINGS to make that better..I am still on the 100 mg tabs, although with two sons leaving in a week and having to move and the holidays....I may go up a bit, I dont know, I will just cry alot!!!

To up, or not to Up that is the question

Well the meds got bumped to 100mg. I cannot sleep, but I wasnt sleeping before the bump either. Today my stomach is on FIRE. I dont know if its the med bump, or the diet pills I am taking or both. I HAVE to lose some weight. I was really hoping if I got my stress under control the weight would come off, PLUS if my brain can settle down maybe I will sleep better and THAT will help me lose weight also. Whenever I watch the BIggest Loser and I see someone close to my weight (its under 200) I just dont think I look like that. I have a very small butt and small legs and I dont have huge flabby arms...and yet the scale still taunts me... anyhow, I feel really just BLAH, I feel nothing I feel drugged! I know it takes a couple weeks. I have a follow up appointment on the 22 of Feb and then my doc is out of town for a week or two. I have Troll~ette stopping on the way home to get me some tums or something I cannot even breathe its so bad!!!! Anyhow heres hoping I get some sleep tonight. I am having a hard time concentrating at work. Not that my job is that hard, but I do have to remember shit....

Mom

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

Well long time no post...I did change the layout though I like it. Anyhow so I had a doctors appointment today. My ears hurt ( yes I am 5) and I wanted the meds upped ( not that there is a pill big enough to deal with the ETK but I digress) Anyhow so now I am up to 100 mg QD so we will see if that helps. I also told him about my trouble sleeping, which HE thinks upping the mg's will help with that too, but I go back in 3 weeks to see if its helping. Anyhow, I really debated upping the meds because I dont want to be all zombied out. Anyhow I hope this helps with my weight loss, and with my stress level in general. I need to sleep. I just took the 100 mg plus 2 benadryls and my yasmin....I should sleep tonight. PLUS for the first time all week the ETK is WORKING and he wont be there to bother me, I dont know why I cant sleep with him home. ANyhow I am seriously considering calling in sick to work tomorrow, I would really like a day off. I run my butt off on the weekends and I just never seem to get a break...I dont know. The ETK actually cleaned out the fridge and freezer AND pantry today. It looks nice. I dont have time for details, I barley get the important stuff done. Oh well here I am so depressed, I hope the meds help soon...

Mom

Goodbye 2007

Long time since I have posted here. Well I dont know if it was the holidays or what, but I did seem to struggle with my mood alot more than I have been. Plus with the stuff my sister went through, thats like seeing the other side of CRAZY and it was scarey...
I have an appointment at the end of this month I think to see how its going. SOOO I may or may not up my dosage, maybe since it will be post holidays I will be able to feel better again.

Anyhow I did set some resolutions this year which I never do, and I am still on my weight loss quest, the story of my life and bain of my existence...

OK well the "special girl time" headache is now in full force and there is no way I am going to Walgreens on New Years Eve at 10:41 to get MIDOL...I already took my bra off!!

Mom

Summertime and the living is easy...

I am feeling better. People are saying I am acting better. So thats a good thing. I am still stressed about money, isnt everyone? But physically I feel better. I am losing some weight, the only thing is that I am not sleeping well. I dont know what the deal is. I am just so busy I guess. When football season is over the time should be better. Anyhow, looks like I will stay at 50mg and just live life and keep on keeping on..

Mom

No music in me this morning.....

Well I went to the doctor yesterday. I told him I was feeling better (which I am generally) so we left the dosage alone. THEN the day progressed into a cluster fuck of hormonal teenagers and a late evening trip to the emergency room. No I did not injure the boy, but I sure thought about it. I got yelled at, doors slammed and generally spent hours in tears. PLUS I was looking so forward to my days off and now I am just wishing I could get out of here EVEN if it was to go to work. The ETK gave me a lecture this morning, cuz you know, IM 10 years old and need to be lectured like a child. But really its Drum troll~ing that is about to be the death of me. Really he is. I cannot handle his emotional drama crap. He is the only one of my 5 children that has told me he hates me. He is the only one that has ever had the balls to slam doors and raise his voice to me, and by raise his voice I mean SCREAM at me (YOU DONT UNDERSTAND ANYTHING MOOOOMMMMMM) oh I understand that you will NOT be driving and NOT be having any FUN for the next 2 weeks, I understand THAT my friend...not a pill big enough for 15 year old boys. I guess I got spoiled because Cadet was so good (generally, not that he doesnt drive me crazy but its on an entirely different level.) OK Im outta here...

Mom

You love her, but she loves him, and he loves somebody else you just cant win

Aside from the stress in my life, which is normal and accompanies ALL people I think, I am feeling better. Maybe I just really needed time for the pills to kick in. I am having alot of trouble concentrating on anything, which can be good AND bad. We are in a bit of a financial mess, but we are both working hard and I am sure it will work itself out. It always has a way of working out. Anyhow I have found myself singing a bit more. I even sat down and played the piano the other day. Even the troll~ings came running down the stairs to see if it really was ME. I havent picked up a crochet hook yet, but perhaps soon. I started an afghan for Burf MONTHS ago, I would like to finish it before CHRISTMAS....

Anyhow, I am sleepy alot I have noticed. I get to the school about 10 minutes early to pick the troll~ings up, and they wake me up when they get to the car. If I stop for 5 minutes I pass out. Luckily I dont stop often. Well I am going to focus on my weight. I bought this super duper cute skirt (on sale for 9.00) and I am about 2 inches away from getting into it. So that is my immediate goal. I go to the doctor this week. I have been having a funny pain on my right side. Maybe its nothing, but if its still bothering me, he may send me for some tests...ok bye

Mom